The Heart Of Philadelphia: You Chose This Life, Not Me

The Heart Of Philadelphia: You Chose This Life, Not Me:     Sadly, in the days that we are living in what was once abnormal is now being accepted as normal.  This post is about bi-sexual m...

You Chose This Life, Not Me

 

  Sadly, in the days that we are living in what was once abnormal is now being accepted as normal.  This post is about bi-sexual men living heterosexual lives with women.  Correction, bi-sexual men that aren't honest with their mate about their sexuality.  I haven't a problem with same sex relationships.  I do have a problem with being in one without my knowledge or consent.  Don't put my life into danger without my consent.  Shame on you, sir.

     Now, I can put the entire blame on the man.  But, I won't.  Ladies, there are things that go on in these type of relationships that are red lights.  We (women) are blessed with a secret weapon other than the gift of Kegos.  Ten Bucks to the lady in the back. You got it.  Our secret weapon is "women intuition".  Learn that man.  Pick his brain as he pick yours.  Do pop up sexual quizzes.  Pop up sexual quizzes are test.  Stick your finger in his ass.  If your love making ends with you having a black eye or on the floor at the opposite side of the room, go in the kitchen and fix that man the biggest and tastiest meal that he has ever had in his life.  I mean better than his mama ever made him.  But, if he doesn't flinch, insert another one.  If that mofo bounce back, get tested and threaten to expose his ass should he ever come back.

      I came across this particular situation in my early 20's.  I was dealing with a man that was extremely manly.  I mean demeanor, physic, scent, and personality.  Digressing a bit from the topic, I have to mention a friend that I have whom is mentally certified.  Meaning, she is bat shit crazy and it's on papers.  When, certain rumors would come out about a certain group of men that was the "IT" boys in our city of, Philadelphia, she would be the one to green light if the rumor was true or not.

     Okay, Getting back to the story.  I won't say the person's name.  However, we will nickname him Backdoor.   I think that it's fitting for the story.  Anyway, I met this guy at a wedding.  His name was ringing around the city.  He was fine, too y'all.  As we get to know each other a little better, You're going to know that I am a fashion fanatic and I love a man that loves fashion as much as I do.  Backdoor matched my fly.  He wasn't famous but, his aura was rich.  I mean you could smell that this man had a coin.  I'm going to speed it up.  I just wanted to give you a descriptive but, not so much a description of him.  What I will say is that this is the year of 93' and he was really cool with the actor Allen Payne.  You know Lance from The Cosby Show.  Anyway, he approached me at the wedding that taken place in New Jersey.  The majority of us stayed in the hotel after the reception because the rooms were paid for by the bride and groom.  So, that right there tell you what type of wedding this was.  Anyway, he and I exchanged pleasantries.  You know the bullshit before y'all get into what it is that you want to get into.  And the both of us ended up renting a hotel room away from the one that everybody was staying at.  Surprisingly, he and I stayed up all night just talking.  I found out so much about this man in one night.  Well, minus what I should've found out.  But, that evening had me yearning to be around him more.  And I was.  Now, we about to get into it.  The next day we went to a big cookout that one of his friends were throwing.  Please pay attention to what I am saying because you're going to pick up on what I didn't pick up on.  When you see the color red, it's a clue.  Stay with me.

     We arrive at the cookout and we're welcomed by his friend the host.  His friend was extremely jokey, jokey and very touchy feeling towards him.  When Backdoor introduced us, he pretended to be mad and began to throw "playful insults" at me.  For instance, "I bet you can't suck his dick like me" or "She don't know  how to do that little thing with her tongue".  They laughed and I didn't.  For one, he was disrespectful.  Also, I never dealt or been in the presence of a man that was comfortable with another man joking about their sexuality.  The shit was weird.  The must've sensed that I was uncomfortable and he told me that he was only kidding.  Backdoor confirmed this.

     I still dealt with Backdoor after this incident and turned a blind eye to what I had witnessed. He and I spent time with each other everyday.  He had a beautiful home and I enjoyed being there with him.  He didn't party in Philly.  However, he did party in New York and LA a lot.  For those who are lost with that, New York and LA are big party scenes for gay men.

     Of course, by now he and I were intimate with one another.  He was a very skilled and unselfish lover.  However, there were still questions about his sexuality in the back of my mind.  Asking a man that you are dating if he is bisexual isn't the most easiest thing to do.  Therefore, I had to do the spontaneous sex quiz my girl put me down with.  One night while he and I were having the most incredible sex that I still have ever experienced, I spontaneously put my finger in his ass.  He didn't flinch.  Nor, did I have a hard time inserted three others inside of him as well.  In fact, this mofo turned over on all fours and began to hump damn near my entire hand as if it was a penis.  Now, the question you guys should have for me is if I chose to continue to sleep with this man.  The answer is YES.  Now my reason for not severing ties immediately was out of greed.  Remember I'm basically still a kid.  I was fresh out of high school, I meet this fine ass man with a lot of money that had no problem spending it.  Besides once that situation jumped off, I no longer was fucking him.  I take that back. I was fucking him.  He wasn't fucking me.

     As if this isn't weird, it gets weirder.  Backdoor suffered from insomnia.  Therefore, he would be up all night. He refused to take anything for it.  His remedy was phone sex vs warm milk or Tylenol PM.  So, one night he called me for his little fix (lol). There's no need to give full specifics from our conversation. Therefore, I will just give you the part that had me change my phone number and refuse any future pop up visits.  He masturbated while telling me how he wanted to give one of his male friends oral sex and then spit his semen in my mouth.  I almost vomited everything that I ate up until that phone call.  But, if that wasn't disgusting he says more. He was talking to me as if I was guy he was sucking off.  I hung that phone up and til' this day I never heard anything from or about him. 

     So, ladies I say this to encourage you to never go into a relationship with blinders on.  Because not only do you have to protect your heart.  But, you also have to protect your health. Here's a link to my book, "Sugar To Shyt" Sugar To Shyt  There is a character in this book about a young lady falling in love with not only a married man but, a man married to a transsexual.  She had a baby for this man and played the background for this man to only be humiliated.  If that isn't enough, he was so HIV positive.  Whew, now that is some foul shit.  Listed in the description box is the link to purchase this book.  Now, that's my personal tea that I spilled a little of.

      Bringing this post to a closing I would like to tell you what encouraged this topic.  I have embedded Tasha K's interview with the alleged allegations of Wendy Williams husband sleeping with men.  Aveon goes into details about he and Kelvin's first sexual encounter.



Get into it because it's juicy.








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The City of Brotherly Hate

Over the last few years we have witnessed the City of Brotherly Love become a City of No Love For Our Brothers.  Our young men are losing their lives by fate at the hands of their own peers. The murders and violence is nothing but a cycle created in the early 70's that was passed down from generation to generation.  This cycle is now on it's 4th generation.  Except, this generation is killing and dealing because of the stories of prior generations that was glorified.  You can't turn on the radio without hearing a rap that boast about drug dealing and degrading women.  You can't turn the television on without breaking news alerting us about another black male murdered.  The elderly is out living the youth.  Chances are that your Grandparents might live longer than your 8yr old son.  This my readers is the brutal truth.  But, this is when we as parents must show our children examples of what could happen if they get involved in the street life.  It's time that we teach our children to lead by their own example and break the cycle of poor examples set before them.  . A lot of articles that I write about may look to some that I am praising those that have made bad choices.  That is far from the truth.  I give two examples with each piece that I write. I give you the good first.  Then, I give you possible outcomes.  That way if a younger person is reading this blog they're going to get this impression, "So and so is living the life.  But, had he not been living the life he would've been reading this article, now.  You can't tell a child to not do something without probable reasoning of why they shouldn't do it.  This has become a doggy dog world and if you aren't prepared for it, you'll be eaten alive.  Listed below is an interview that I did on a very good friend of mine named, Maseo.  Also, view the trailer below of soon to come documentary, "Tailor Made". This is life of reputed J.B.M. member, Leroy Bucky Davis.  This is one of the stories that give you the good and the bad side.  Thank you all so much for your constant support.  May you be blessed and blessed enough to bless someone else.  Peace....

OR:   A lot of times we tend to adopt the mentality of black men straying because of their upbringing in the home. Some men blame it on the father not being present or whatever else society leads us to believe for the black male to go astray. What directed you to the street game and at what age?


MM:  I was 14 fresh out of grade school and my nephew asked me to go half on a ounce of weed to sell joints in school with the promise of doubling my money in one day

OR:  What type of criminal activity did you partake in?
MM:  I was really non active in the criminal element until that day my Nephew Jamal asked me that question from there I was off to the races Mostly weed selling


OR:  Were you ever arrested? If so, for what and at what age?
MM: My first arrest was at age 18 for a robbery I did not commit 


OR:  I’m almost positive that your parents were unaware of your street activity in the beginning. What age did your parents find out and how?
MM:  My parents did not become aware until I was 16 years of age and by than I was no longer living at home but each and everyday my dad would try his hardest to talk me out of the streets


OR:  What was their reaction?
MM:  When they discovered my life style I was immediately given an ultimatum stop or get out so as I stated at 16 I was on my own


OR:  Were you ever convicted of a crime and sentenced? If so, why and how long?
MM:  I was sentenced for the robbery which I did not commit because of racism the judge said just because I did not do it does not mean I don't know the people that did


OR:  Even in an illegal business field vs. legal employment one can possess strong points. Meaning one can have their own qualities that can assist he/she to excel. How did you excel in the street business?
MM:  I excelled by loyalty and staying away from any kind of violence I made it a point to make money and go home no matter what the money would not be the issue for any violence as well as remembering that loyalty is the key be strictly about the business at hand and pick up a routine so nothing gets repetition


OR:  The saying is the only way out of the street is dead or incarcerated. Then you have a handful that have dodged the bullets and literally grew old in the streets. What made you walk away from it all?
MM:  My wife and kids period I want to see my grandchildren go away to college


OR:   How were you able to stay away from it all?
MM:  Nothing comes easy and the price you pay is your life there are no rules in the limelight except dance and dancing can be sex , murder , whatever your style but the DJ has no picks about who wins the only winners are those who never play in the first place.
OR:  What advice do you have for that easily influenced young male that is fascinated with the glitz and glamour of the streets?
MM:  I can go on and on on why we as blacks should never cater to the glitz but the best reason is our lives are worth so much more.