June 2, 2012

The City of Brotherly Hate

Over the last few years we have witnessed the City of Brotherly Love become a City of No Love For Our Brothers.  Our young men are losing their lives by fate at the hands of their own peers. The murders and violence is nothing but a cycle created in the early 70's that was passed down from generation to generation.  This cycle is now on it's 4th generation.  Except, this generation is killing and dealing because of the stories of prior generations that was glorified.  You can't turn on the radio without hearing a rap that boast about drug dealing and degrading women.  You can't turn the television on without breaking news alerting us about another black male murdered.  The elderly is out living the youth.  Chances are that your Grandparents might live longer than your 8yr old son.  This my readers is the brutal truth.  But, this is when we as parents must show our children examples of what could happen if they get involved in the street life.  It's time that we teach our children to lead by their own example and break the cycle of poor examples set before them.  . A lot of articles that I write about may look to some that I am praising those that have made bad choices.  That is far from the truth.  I give two examples with each piece that I write. I give you the good first.  Then, I give you possible outcomes.  That way if a younger person is reading this blog they're going to get this impression, "So and so is living the life.  But, had he not been living the life he would've been reading this article, now.  You can't tell a child to not do something without probable reasoning of why they shouldn't do it.  This has become a doggy dog world and if you aren't prepared for it, you'll be eaten alive.  Listed below is an interview that I did on a very good friend of mine named, Maseo.  Also, view the trailer below of soon to come documentary, "Tailor Made". This is life of reputed J.B.M. member, Leroy Bucky Davis.  This is one of the stories that give you the good and the bad side.  Thank you all so much for your constant support.  May you be blessed and blessed enough to bless someone else.  Peace....
OR:   A lot of times we tend to adopt the mentality of black men straying because of their upbringing in the home. Some men blame it on the father not being present or whatever else society leads us to believe for the black male to go astray. What directed you to the street game and at what age?

MM:  I was 14 fresh out of grade school and my nephew asked me to go half on a ounce of weed to sell joints in school with the promise of doubling my money in one day

OR:  What type of criminal activity did you partake in?

MM:  I was really non active in the criminal element until that day my Nephew Jamal asked me that question from there I was off to the races Mostly weed selling

OR:  Were you ever arrested? If so, for what and at what age?
MM: My first arrest was at age 18 for a robbery I did not commit 

OR:  I’m almost positive that your parents were unaware of your street activity in the beginning. What age did your parents find out and how?
MM:  My parents did not become aware until I was 16 years of age and by than I was no longer living at home but each and everyday my dad would try his hardest to talk me out of the streets

OR:  What was their reaction?
MM:  When they discovered my life style I was immediately given an ultimatum stop or get out so as I stated at 16 I was on my own

OR:  Were you ever convicted of a crime and sentenced? If so, why and how long?
MM:  I was sentenced for the robbery which I did not commit because of racism the judge said just because I did not do it does not mean I don't know the people that did

OR:  Even in an illegal business field vs. legal employment one can possess strong points. Meaning one can have their own qualities that can assist he/she to excel. How did you excel in the street business?
MM:  I excelled by loyalty and staying away from any kind of violence I made it a point to make money and go home no matter what the money would not be the issue for any violence as well as remembering that loyalty is the key be strictly about the business at hand and pick up a routine so nothing gets repetition

OR:  The saying is the only way out of the street is dead or incarcerated. Then you have a handful that have dodged the bullets and literally grew old in the streets. What made you walk away from it all?
MM:  My wife and kids period I want to see my grandchildren go away to college

OR:   How were you able to stay away from it all?
MM:  Nothing comes easy and the price you pay is your life there are no rules in the limelight except dance and dancing can be sex , murder , whatever your style but the DJ has no picks about who wins the only winners are those who never play in the first place.
OR:  What advice do you have for that easily influenced young male that is fascinated with the glitz and glamour of the streets?
MM:  I can go on and on on why we as blacks should never cater to the glitz but the best reason is our lives are worth so much more.

May 5, 2012

The Month Of May

I don't know where to begin or where I am going with this post.  But, I'm coming from my heart.  Within a matter of four months my life have been turned upside down.  I lost one of the most important people in my life.  My Grandfather, My Father, My Protector left this cruel world and I will never get over his demise. It's like nothing is regular anymore.  It even feel strange to see my Grandmother without you.  Your absence is truly felt.  As I think back on my childhood I can actually smile.  You loved us ALL unconditionally.  I often think of the many sacrifices that you made for your family.  Your only expectant of us was to do our best.  Yes, I know that I disappointed you when I didn't continue with Chestnut Hill College.  However, I know for a fact that you were proud of the woman that I grew into.  My work ethics are because of you.  The way that I treat others is because of the example that you set for me.  I cherished holidays because it was another day for me to show you through the things that you liked that you were appreciated.  Normally, I despise cards without monetary surprises.  I must have gotten that from you. Out of the hundreds of cards that I received in my life only two cards touches me emotionally.  This was the last birthday card that I will receive from the both of you together.  This card says it all.
Daddy, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you.  Realistically, I know that you are in a better place that is pain free and peaceful.  Selfishly, I'm very angry that you aren't here. I'm angry that I can't call Mama and ask what you are doing.  I'm angry that it isn't that easy for me to move on like others.  I'm just angry, Daddy.  I miss you for you.  I don't miss you for what you could do or for what you have done.  I miss you because I love you.  As your birthday rapidly approach it makes the pain worst.  It has been a ritual for my mother and I to celebrate your birthday and Mother's Day on the same day.  So, the Sunday of Mother's Day we would bring your gift and visit for dinner.  It saddens my heart that next Sunday we won't be doing that.  It saddens my heart that Tuesday I won't be able to call you and say Happy Birthday, Daddy.  I love you.  But, I'm glad that I did tell you while you were here that I love you and thank you.  So, as you rest peacefully I know for a fact that you know that I am truly thankful and appreciative for your love and your sacrifices.  So, rest Daddy and I promise you that I will raise these boys to give their absolute best and to always put God first.  I will make sure that Mekhai honors your name.  I love you, Daddy.  You are definitely the greatest person I have ever known.,,,,

April 5, 2012

Laughter Is Good For The Soul

Okay, I have to deviate from normal topics.  With the madness that is contaminating our world, I thought that it would be nice to laugh.  After all laughter is the remedy to a broken heart and healthy living.  Although, some might look at this as offensive I have a different opinion. I think it's excellent creativity.  The voice behind Peanut is actually becoming a household name.  However, it isn't a show that you would watch with children.  He can get a little vulgar at times.  Matter of fact, he's vulgar all the times.  But, he's funny.  I see this puppet being the next Stevie TV.  Check out this episode of Peanut Live 215 getting his haircut....

March 17, 2012

The Recipe To A Healthy Relationship

One thing that I have learned over the years through myself and other women is that we can be very naive at times.   A lot of (x)'s we judge each other by the choices we make.  This doesn't mean we are  stupid. Nor will I claim the saying, "I Just Love Hard". In this posting I would like to touch on various areas in relationships.  Cheating, Monogamy, Trust, Friendship, Loyalty, and all other things that can either make or destroy a relationship.
Trust:reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth, reliability, etc., of a person or thing; faith 
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.   Without trust you will watch your relationship fall with the same effect as fallen dominoes. Trust is the cause of a lot of problems.  Each word that I mentioned in the opening of this article has something to do with trust.
Cheatingrefers to the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a competitive situation
If no rules are set in a relationship there is no clarity of what rules are being broken.  In the beginning of a blossoming relationship we tend to learn our partners. However, we also tend to ignore some of the signs placed in front of us.  Therefore, we spend a lifetime ignoring them.  When you see that the relationship is taking a serious turn set mutual rules with a line down the middle.  By doing this you both know what boundaries are forbidden to be crossed.  If boundaries are crossed punishments are permissible.  If you choose to forgive him that's fine.  But, don't make it easy for him.  He should work extremely hard to regain your trust.  Forgiveness is beautiful.  
Monogamy:  - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time
If you have trust, loyalty, and are faithful Monogamy won't be an issue in your relationship.  These characteristics makes Monogamy easy.
Friendship:  a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
You must develop a friendship  before forming a relationship.  Now, that doesn't mean discussing the things that you may discuss with your girlfriends.  But, you both should have a strong level of trust.  Most successful relationships started from a friendship.  
Loyalty: faithful to one's oath and commitments
If your mate isn't loyal, he isn't your mate.  A loyal man is a trustworthy man.  No matter what troubled waters lay under that Bridge, he'll hold your hand and cross it with you.  He admires you.  He'll refer to you as his Queen and fight your battles when you feel too weak to do on your own.  Not only does he understand but, he'll show you the definition of loyalty.  You will recognize his loyalty from how he treats himself.  If he cherishes himself, he'll forever cherish you. 

Responsible:  accountable for 
We are accountable for our own doings. If you're a responsible individual, except nothing least of being responsible in choosing your mate.  If your man is responsible your home life will be less complicated and more tension free.  You shouldn't have to worry about bills, rent and groceries being paid for if you have a responsible man.  If you and your mate live together and you have shut off notices and dirty dishes in the sink while you work or go to school all day, he's not responsible.  Run as fast as you can.  This possibly is a road to outside babies, venereal infections, and a world of heartache.

Now that we have a few of the basics rules out of the way proceed with the things that's happening now. 

  • Nothing comes to a sleeper but, a dream.  Even that isn't guaranteed to be a good dream.
Ladies, we tend to model our relationships out of storybook fairy tales.  You can't expect to sleep until your Prince Charming kisses you awake.  Wake up and check out what lies in front of you. If you open your eyes you'll see if he's your Prince Charming or your Eddie Monster with in seconds.

  • Always follow your first thoughts.  If not take heed to them. 

There's always a caution window that we see in the beginning of a relationship that we choose to ignore.  These are four major signs of when to step back:
  1. Shoves lead to bumping against  sharp objects
  2. Pushing leads to falling down a flight of stairs.
  3. White Lies leads to infidelity.
  4. Slapping leads to punching.
Last but not least the most talked about subject.  Cougars........

Cougar is a name given to older women whom court younger men.  There's nothing wrong with dating younger as long as birth parties are able to order an alcoholic beverage legally.  However, you have to be extremely careful when dating younger.  You shouldn't go no younger than twenty-five if you're thirty, Thirty-five and under if forty.  Try to keep it with in a five year age difference if you must date younger.  The thing about men period is their maturing level is a lot slower than it takes a female to mature.  But, the reality of it all is most men never grow up.  They're just boys with beards and expensive toys.  But, there is also a not to do list when dating younger....

  1. DO NOT EVER give him the green light to disrespect you. If you allow it once, he'll do it twice.
  2. DO NOT let him to mentally train you from sex.  
  3. DO NOT befriend him on Face book or follow him on Twitter. You'll find your arguments stem more from whom's on his friend list and how many times that he mentions his ex-companions.  
  4. DO NOT tell him to act his age in an argument.  Reason being, he is acting HIS age.
  5. DO NOT argue publicly with women in his age group over him.  Again, you make yourself look stupid.
  6. DO NOT share your wrongs in the relationship with others. It's labeled personal for a reason.  It doesn't make him look bad at all.  However, it does question your sanity and morals.  
  7. DO NOT invite the world in to your relationship.  Judging isn't right.  However, when you send an open invitation to non-sense people won't disappoint you.
Basically, from what I'm experiencing and witnessing through others is to have fun.  Have fun with your relationship. If it's meant to be, it will be.  When God sends us the mate he has for us, he will be all of the above and more.  He will be perfect for YOU.  Not all relationships are perfect.  However, the fun part of a relationship is enjoying the moment that you are in.  Savor it, Appreciate it, and again Enjoy it.  Thank you so much for visiting my site.  Be Blessed............


    February 19, 2012

    Stop Bullying

    Sadly, teasing is a part of growing up.  Although, there is a difference between teasing out of fun vs. teasing with intents of hurting others.  Either way everyone isn't accustomed to teasing.  Through experience of my own child I have suffered the cruel end of teasing.  He was teased because of how he  dressed. Although, he wear current designers such as Ralph Lauren, Puma, etc.  They will tell him it's the nerdy form of fashion he chooses to wear.  I am a true believer that fashion isn't the most important for a child to succeed. However, I truly believe if you dress them for success now they will be prepared for success when they achieve it.  He was teased because of his way of thinking.  My son has the soul of an old wise man.  He's intrigued with other's thoughts.  This made some of his peers view him as a nerd or weirdo.  He simply cares about all.  Thankfully, bullying didn't affect my child's motivation and determination to be great.  Where as others are deeply affected by it.  Some has even taken their young, precious lives.  My cousin recently had to do an essay for one of his classes.  It was phenomenal.  I can't think of any other way to describe it.  He speaks from experience.  I shared this essay with four other co-workers with younger children.  Each co-worker including myself got something different from it.  I would like to share this with you.  Also, I encourage you to share this with others as well.  It's very important and you never know who needs it at the present moment.  Thank you so much for visiting.  Peace......

    A Path to Humility
    Have you ever seen a child being bullied constantly by his peers? I have witnessed this sight plenty of
    times during my childhood, first-hand. I have always wondered why I was chosen to be the outcast.
    Acceptance is the only thing that I wanted, but nothing that I’ve done seemed to work. Offering
    my lunch, that my mother made with love and care, to those who would pick on me. Laughing with
    the bullies at others they would mock. I was even slacking in school in order to hide my exceptional
    academic talents. The most despicable thing that I did was abandoning my friends who accepted me
    even with my “flaws”. None of these methods helped me gain acceptance, they only made me feel
    lonelier. My adolescence was formed around the negativity I received from my peers. I doubted myself
    and from this I developed insecurities.

    Being self-conscious not only affects you, but those around you as well. My insecurities took control
    of me and I began to change mentally. My personality and behavior adapted to prevent people from
    realizing my “flaws”. The outcome of this made me a bitter, angry, and defensive young man. I refused
    to be that outspoken child I was once before. I chose to be more aggressive when demanding respect
    versus passive. Whenever someone would make the slightest joke, I would lash out as though they have
    just slandered my mother’s name. I would mock those who refused to defend themselves. I was rude,
    obnoxious, and I could care less about those affected by my behavior. Without even knowing, I was
    becoming the very same thing that I hated.

    Of course being defensive also made me stubborn. I refused to believe that I was the reason my mother
    cried late at nights. I was blind to the fact that it was I, her only son, who disappointed her. “I failed
    you as a parent” is something no child ever wants to hear. There was good in me, but no one else could
    see it. No more disappointing my mother was the only thing on my mind. I decided to make a change
    and eventually a change occurred. After constant nights bowing to the Lord, my mother’s prayers
    were answered. I was slowly progressing into a man who was not bitter, angry, or sensitive. Applying
    the teachings of Bishop Dale C. Bronner to my life dramatically reshaped me. I was able to become
    understanding, to show compassion, to be considerate, and most importantly to begin to love myself.

    My mom always told me that the reason I was picked on is because I have a big heart, like my father. He
    cared for others and so do I. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that God put those obstacles
    in my life in order to train this big heart of mine. How could I care for others without experiencing pain
    myself? I want to make sure no one else has to endure the same pain I had to endure alone. My first
    opportunity to achieve this was when I met a crying little boy. Surprisingly, the crying little boy was my
    younger self. It was though I subconsciously met myself during my adolescence. As I greeted the boy he
    instantly poured his heart out to me, to the only person who would understand him.

    Screaming at the top of his lungs while crying heavily, the boy asked, “Why am I not loved like everyone
    else?! Why do I get picked on every single day?! Why don’t I have a father to guide me?! Why does no
    one care?!” All I could do was smile and without even saying a word I hugged him as tight as I could. The
    boy dug his face in my shoulder and continued to cry and also without saying a word he hugged me back
    as tight as he could. I always felt that I needed someone else’s approval to feel loved, but it was in that

    instant that I realized that I was wrong. My approval was all I ever needed. As I held the boy in my arms,
    he began to fade away with my insecurities with him.

    I would be grateful for those who bullied me. I do not take anything for granted. I feel as though I can
    take the experiences from my past and help others with their future. I guess everything I went through
    was just a pathway to reach humility.

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