March 17, 2012

The Recipe To A Healthy Relationship

One thing that I have learned over the years through myself and other women is that we can be very naive at times.   A lot of (x)'s we judge each other by the choices we make.  This doesn't mean we are  stupid. Nor will I claim the saying, "I Just Love Hard". In this posting I would like to touch on various areas in relationships.  Cheating, Monogamy, Trust, Friendship, Loyalty, and all other things that can either make or destroy a relationship.
Trust:reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth, reliability, etc., of a person or thing; faith 
Trust is the foundation of any relationship.   Without trust you will watch your relationship fall with the same effect as fallen dominoes. Trust is the cause of a lot of problems.  Each word that I mentioned in the opening of this article has something to do with trust.
Cheatingrefers to the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a competitive situation
If no rules are set in a relationship there is no clarity of what rules are being broken.  In the beginning of a blossoming relationship we tend to learn our partners. However, we also tend to ignore some of the signs placed in front of us.  Therefore, we spend a lifetime ignoring them.  When you see that the relationship is taking a serious turn set mutual rules with a line down the middle.  By doing this you both know what boundaries are forbidden to be crossed.  If boundaries are crossed punishments are permissible.  If you choose to forgive him that's fine.  But, don't make it easy for him.  He should work extremely hard to regain your trust.  Forgiveness is beautiful.  
Monogamy:  - one+marriage/ a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time
If you have trust, loyalty, and are faithful Monogamy won't be an issue in your relationship.  These characteristics makes Monogamy easy.
Friendship:  a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
You must develop a friendship  before forming a relationship.  Now, that doesn't mean discussing the things that you may discuss with your girlfriends.  But, you both should have a strong level of trust.  Most successful relationships started from a friendship.  
Loyalty: faithful to one's oath and commitments
If your mate isn't loyal, he isn't your mate.  A loyal man is a trustworthy man.  No matter what troubled waters lay under that Bridge, he'll hold your hand and cross it with you.  He admires you.  He'll refer to you as his Queen and fight your battles when you feel too weak to do on your own.  Not only does he understand but, he'll show you the definition of loyalty.  You will recognize his loyalty from how he treats himself.  If he cherishes himself, he'll forever cherish you. 

Responsible:  accountable for 
We are accountable for our own doings. If you're a responsible individual, except nothing least of being responsible in choosing your mate.  If your man is responsible your home life will be less complicated and more tension free.  You shouldn't have to worry about bills, rent and groceries being paid for if you have a responsible man.  If you and your mate live together and you have shut off notices and dirty dishes in the sink while you work or go to school all day, he's not responsible.  Run as fast as you can.  This possibly is a road to outside babies, venereal infections, and a world of heartache.

Now that we have a few of the basics rules out of the way proceed with the things that's happening now. 

  • Nothing comes to a sleeper but, a dream.  Even that isn't guaranteed to be a good dream.
Ladies, we tend to model our relationships out of storybook fairy tales.  You can't expect to sleep until your Prince Charming kisses you awake.  Wake up and check out what lies in front of you. If you open your eyes you'll see if he's your Prince Charming or your Eddie Monster with in seconds.

  • Always follow your first thoughts.  If not take heed to them. 

There's always a caution window that we see in the beginning of a relationship that we choose to ignore.  These are four major signs of when to step back:
  1. Shoves lead to bumping against  sharp objects
  2. Pushing leads to falling down a flight of stairs.
  3. White Lies leads to infidelity.
  4. Slapping leads to punching.
Last but not least the most talked about subject.  Cougars........

Cougar is a name given to older women whom court younger men.  There's nothing wrong with dating younger as long as birth parties are able to order an alcoholic beverage legally.  However, you have to be extremely careful when dating younger.  You shouldn't go no younger than twenty-five if you're thirty, Thirty-five and under if forty.  Try to keep it with in a five year age difference if you must date younger.  The thing about men period is their maturing level is a lot slower than it takes a female to mature.  But, the reality of it all is most men never grow up.  They're just boys with beards and expensive toys.  But, there is also a not to do list when dating younger....

  1. DO NOT EVER give him the green light to disrespect you. If you allow it once, he'll do it twice.
  2. DO NOT let him to mentally train you from sex.  
  3. DO NOT befriend him on Face book or follow him on Twitter. You'll find your arguments stem more from whom's on his friend list and how many times that he mentions his ex-companions.  
  4. DO NOT tell him to act his age in an argument.  Reason being, he is acting HIS age.
  5. DO NOT argue publicly with women in his age group over him.  Again, you make yourself look stupid.
  6. DO NOT share your wrongs in the relationship with others. It's labeled personal for a reason.  It doesn't make him look bad at all.  However, it does question your sanity and morals.  
  7. DO NOT invite the world in to your relationship.  Judging isn't right.  However, when you send an open invitation to non-sense people won't disappoint you.
Basically, from what I'm experiencing and witnessing through others is to have fun.  Have fun with your relationship. If it's meant to be, it will be.  When God sends us the mate he has for us, he will be all of the above and more.  He will be perfect for YOU.  Not all relationships are perfect.  However, the fun part of a relationship is enjoying the moment that you are in.  Savor it, Appreciate it, and again Enjoy it.  Thank you so much for visiting my site.  Be Blessed............


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