March 23, 2010

ANONYMOUS QUESTIONS AND SITUATIONS

Okay, readers this is a few things left in my inbox after asking for suggestions on things to discuss on this blogsite.  I left the names totally anonymous and I ask that you give these ladies your honest opinions and advice.  Of course, after I leave my opinions. 

Anonymous

     My boyfriend and I are proud new parents of a healthy babyboy.  However, we are having intimacy issues.  I will be the first to admit that I put on a few extra pounds from the pregnancy.  But, I thought that would be expected.  He makes me feel obesed with the insults he make regarding my weight.  Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to make myself more appealing to my man?

A.  My honest opinion would be to go to the nearest speakeasy in your neighborhood.  Ask for a fifth of Corn Liquor.  Then you are going to the oldest male neighbor on your block that you constantly see different crack whores come out of all times of the night.  Your gonna rub up against him and talk him out of his viagra pills.  Then, you are going to go home, bathe, light some scented candles, and lay on the couch.  But, make sure to give the baby his robitussin for his cold "wink wink" because you need quietness.  Give him his drink and on the second one slip the viagra in it.  Not only is he gonna think that you look like Toni Braxton and not Precious anymore.  But, he is gonna bang you all night long.  Thanks for sharing, anonymous.

Anonymous

     My fiance and I are getting married in June.  For the last two weeks I have reasons to believe that he isn't being faithful to me.  Let's just say that he has a wandering eye.  Everytime I catch him he tries to convince me that I am going crazy.  Last night, the sun beat him home and he reeked of cheap perfume.  When I confronted him he blamed it on me being insecure.  I'm torn, confused, and have the slightest idea of what to do.  Do you think that he is cheating on me?

A.  I'm gonna keep this short and sweet for you babydoll.  Do I think that your man is cheating?  No!  I think that your man has a problem.  I think that your man is a LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous

    My boyfriend of 8yrs and I are due to have a baby anyday now.  I love him very much.  But, I have a secret that will destroy not only his and I relationship.  But, will destroy his family.  Before I put this out there I ask that noone judge me because you couldn't possibly know the situation.  I have been sleeping with my boyfriend's father for a little over a year now and not once did we use a condom.  There is a big possibility that he might be the father.  Do I tell my boyfriend that not only have I betrayed him but I betrayed his mother as well?

A.  I'm sorry I got to call you a stank on this one.  But, I got a plan that just might work.  Sshhh!  come closer.  SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hell no, you don't tell him shit.  A dollar to a donut if your boyfriend has strong genes the baby is gonna look like his side anyway. Roll with it and the baby will be related to him regardless whether brother or son.  Next time, do the sister's boyfriend and you wont feel so bad.

Alright, I shared enough.  Until, next time people.  Again, thank you guys so much for supporting me and please leave comments and follow. 

2 comments:

  1. YOU are a NUT LOL Much Love Cousin

    Anonymous number one tell your husband baby father to kiss your newly developed big ass.Then send him Peace and Blessings.

    Anonymous number two you know what you know and you aint got to ask. if you insecure then check yourself if you are secure smack the eye straight or roll.

    Anonymous number three i have done some stank shit in my days you win the award over me on this one. Walk proud the baby is going to look like him regardless and pick one. you need a dick on the side go get one outside the family its enough out there look hard enough you will find one like the father or one like the son just stopping fucking up and fucking the family.

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