March 19, 2010

Seven Ways To Make Your Mate Mad

  1. Put his number on call block.  By doing this everytime he calls the phone will go straight to voicemail.  Men hate when we aren't available for them.  But, they have so many excuses when we try to contact them and can't. 
  2. If you have children, by the kids or kid a new toy 2(x)'s in the same week.  Tell them that it's a gift from Mr.Troy.  It has to be a sort of sexy and popular name.  He'll clown you if he finds out Herman is the new dude in your life.  Also, make sure that it's a toy that they really want.  Doing this will anger him because no man can deal with another man interacting with their children.
  3. Ask him to babysit one weekend?  He will do it because he wants you to know that he moved on and is not affected the least bit with yall break up. Now, you pull out that sexy little number that drives him wild.  Be certain to have it on when he arrives.  That way you can act as if you are on your way out the door.  Shut up!  You know your mate doesn't know how to tell time.  He won't have the slightest idea that it's 10:00am in the morning.  And if he does so what, you're a borderline alcoholic anyway so you partying so early wouldn't be unusual.
  4. Break his password to his cellular phone.  Change it because he so dumb he wouldn't even know.  This will really piss him off.  But, you have to make sure your duck and run game is on point after doing this.  Sshh!  Come closer.  You are going to change the voicemail. Here's what you will say "Hi, you have reached the voicemail of John aka Samir, aka Seth, aka, deadbeat, aka Im really a broke triphling butthole.  He doesn't have any money, that is my son's scooter that he is peddling, that jacket belongs to my brother, and he is really light skinned when he washes his stanky ass"  Now, you see why you have to duck.
  5. Contact the health department and tell them that you are him and you need help contacting your last sexual partner to tell her you have gonnorhea in your big toe.  Then, give them the name and number of the new girl.
  6. Kill him with kindness.  Men hate this because they haven't a clue of what you're really thinking.
  7. Last but not least, start dating a man uglier than him.  Therefore, you made him mad at the fact that you were trying to make him jealous with a man that looks like Dennis Rodman. 
  8. These my sisterhood are seven golden rules to make your mate mad.  Feel free to comment.  Love you all and thanks for supporting my blog.

1 comment:

  1. lol how do you find the time and thoughts to think of these of things I am big fan of number six girl been driving them crazy with this one for years

    ReplyDelete

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