March 21, 2010

THE THINGS THAT WE DO BEFORE BEING INTIMATE THE FIRST TIME

Okay, for those who don't know me I think and say some of the craziest things.  I guess after reading my blog you almost have that figured out.  But, I was sitting here thinking of the things that us women do moments before having sex with someone for the 1st time.  I'm talking about the 60secs. you have before he enters the room.  I created a list and I would like to read your comments.  You have to be 100% honest.  Let's have it ladies.
  1. Smell Check.  I always do the smell check when they leave out the room for a second.  I don't stink but, I just want to be certain everything is official down there.  Don't know man want to screw a stinky woman.
  2. Kegels.  Ladies do them even before and during sex.  You may not be a virgin but he doesn't need to get lost in the Kitty.
  3. Fart.  This one wasn't from me but, a person just as crazy as I am.  When asked why she answered that she be nervous.  I hope it isn't one of those silent but deadly farts.
  4. Pray.  Hey God is everywhere.  So don't think that you are gonna be in your Jenna Jamison mode and noone will know.  Doesn't that creep you out.  But, if it isn't your husband we shouldn't be doing it and I just want to ask for forgiveness before hand. 
  5. Phone.  I turn my phone to vibrate.  Because that is so annoying when you just get into it and the mood is broken by your dumb ass ringtone.  Especially, if the caller is persistent and is going to keep calling until they get an answer.
  6. Butt smell check.  My cousin/friend said that moments before getting intimate she checks the smell of her ASS.  I can't bring myself  to tell you how she does the check.
There you have a few of my strange before sex checklist suggestions.  Let me hear some of your seconds before sex suggestions or rituals.  I love you guys and thank you for the support.

1 comment:

  1. Let's be clear here, I am NOT the cousin/friend referred to in this post!

    Only Rocky!
    tsk, tsk, tsk

    ReplyDelete

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